You have two ears and one mouth. Use them in that proportion.
As a coach, I have been quick to offer “suggestions” to those under my supervision. Despite having the best intentions and more life experience, by trying to fix the problems in the lives of the athletes we work with, coaches will most likely end up reducing the likelihood of that change because most people prefer to be in control of his or her own life.(Rosengren, 2009).
Athletes may not be motivated to do what you want him or her to do, but each person has personal goals, values, aspirations, and dreams (Woolsey 2012). So how do we elicit behavior change? Remember:
1- The individual must be ready, willing and able to change in order to do so.
2- Listen with empathy! Use the acronym OARS (Open-ended questions, affirmations, reflective listening and summaries) to help determine if the athlete has the desire, ability, reasons and need (D.A.R.N.) to change. Only then should you provide ideas that will help the athlete make real change in his or her life (Woolsey & Portenga, n.d.).
As legendary basketball coach John Wooden said, “listen if you want to be heard.”
Coach Nelson serves as a high school football coach who is pursuing his doctorate in Sport and Performance Psychology. He has worked for a division 1 athletic department, professional sport franchises, a Fortune 100 Company and has won numerous awards for his LEADership abilities.
His mission is to positively influence the world through Love, Effort, Attitude and Discipline (#LEAD). To learn more about the LEAD philosophy follow him on Twitter Levi Nelson or reach out via email at rln10@zips.uakron.edu He’d love to learn about or help you in your journey!
References
Rosengren, D. B. (2009). Building motivational interviewing skills: A practitioner workbook. New York, NY: Guilford Press
Wooden, J. R., & Jamison, S. (1997). Wooden: A lifetime of observations and reflections on and off the court. London, UK: McGraw-Hill ISBN-13: 978–0809230419
Woolsey, C. L. (2012). Positive Coaching Workshop [Pamphlet].
Woolsey, C. L, & Portenga. (n.d). The practical use of Self-Determination Theory (SDT) and MI pinciples in coaching: How to positively motivate athletes to autonomously choose to improve [Power Point Slides]. Retrieved from https://webcampus.uws.edu/course/view.php?id=1939
