Rephrasing the question: What do you want to be when you grow up?
What do you want to be when you grow up?” This question that is often poised to children is usually answered with a vocation, a job that the child would someday like to have. Professional athlete, actor, ballerina, and fire fighter are all popular answers. Legendary football coach, Lou Holtz, often joked about wanting to become a garbage man when he was a youngster because he would only have to work one day a week.
Regardless of the child’s response, adults tend to respond by offering some sort of advice about working hard and getting good grades in school, and that’s usually where the conversation stops. But what if adults started rephrasing the question to “How do you want to be when you grow up?” What if we asked children not to think so much about what they are going to do to make money, but more importantly about the type of person (honest, dependable, hard working, etc.) they want to become. What if the next generation was less fixated on achieving a certain status and more concerned about their moral reputation and character?
There is nothing wrong with having goals. In fact, more than 90% of general psychology studies show that goal setting has a consistent and powerful effect on behavior. The problem lies when people wrap their identity into what they do opposed to who they are. For starters, no one is guaranteed to ever achieve his/her goal. If you end up not starting at shortstop for the New York Yankees, is your life a failure? Of course not! For the sake of the argument, though, let’s say you do become a professional baseball player. Then what happens when your playing career ends? Who will you be then?
As a high school football coach, I share with our players that regardless of our win/loss record, it doesn’t change who we are as people. If we go 9–0 or 0–9, it doesn’t change who we are as human beings. The way we live our lives and the way we treat other people is what is most important, not what we do for a living.
The following blog is a paraphrase from David Walker, host of the Ironhorse podcast. To learn more about Coach Walker, follow him on twitter (@D_Walk74) or download the podcast:
Coach Nelson holds a doctorate in sport and performance psychology and currently serves as a high school football coach. He has worked for multiple professional sport franchises, a Fortune 100 Company, a division 1 athletic departments and has won numerous awards for his LEADership abilities.
His mission is to positively influence the world through Love, Effort, Attitude and Discipline (#LEAD). To learn more about the LEAD philosophy follow him on Twitter Levi Nelson or reach out via email at rln10@zips.uakron.edu He’d love to learn about or help you in your journey!
