“I can’t wait until we win him over.”
There is an old adage when attending a coaching clinic that, “if you learn just one thing, it was worth your time.” Even though not all the content was 100% family friendly, there were so many examples of positive coaching in AppleTV’s hit show “Ted Lasso” that it’s hard for me to only mention one; however, months after watching the first season, one particular scene still remains fresh in my memory.
Very early in his tenure as the new head soccer coach for English Premier League’s AFC Richmond, Ted has an informal meeting with one of his players that does not go well. The player is rude and stand-off-ish. After the disgruntled player leaves his office, Ted turns to his assistant coaches and says, “I can’t wait until we win him over.” He didn’t complain about the players poor attitude, become confrontational with the player or decide to quit on him but rather provided leadership, creating a new culture based on persistence, positivity and belief.
At The Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA), we define culture simply as, “the way we do things here.” In just one sentence, Ted affirms that he and his staff would continue to try and make a connection with the player and that it would eventually happen. In Ted’s mind, the coaching staff had just not made a connection with the player, YET! The idea that behavior is changeable and that we can improve with practice is what PCA’s national advisory board member, Carol Dweck, refers to as the growth mindset. In a growth mindset, you believe your ability can be developed no matter what your current skill level. Throughout the show, Ted experiences rejection time and time again from his players, boss and even within his own marriage. However, Ted does not succumb to the opinion of others (about him or that he and his team will fail), but instead chooses to believe the best is yet to come and that things will work out. In fact, he hangs a sign in his team’s locker room with the simple message: “Believe.”
Connecting with a player who always just seems to give you trouble and doesn’t listen when you speak can be difficult; however, Ted eventually wins him over along with the rest of the organization using tools endorsed by PCA. He listens, recognizes the individual’s feelings, shows appreciation for all team members (regardless of their rank), asks for input and, most of all, has an enthusiasm for life that is simply unparalleled. On TV and in real life, there is no downside to positivity.
Research has clearly shown that athletes like positive coaches better, enjoy their athletic experience more, report higher team cohesion when playing for them and perform at higher levels when positive control techniques are used (Smith & Smoll 2011). Additional benefits of positivity as applied to an athlete or team include “lower turnover, fewer absences, lower incidence of drug or alcohol use, faster recovery from injury, increased motivation, more likely to resolve conflict through collaboration, better decision making efficiency, and increased creative thinking” (Biswas-Diener, 2010, p.41–42).
I think one of the reasons I enjoyed season one of “Ted Lasso” so much is that I can relate to the Ted Lasso character. Like Ted, most days I feel way over my head, but by committing to the daily process of love, effort, a positive attitude and discipline, I am able to persevere. I may not be the most naturally gifted person in the room, but what I lack in knowledge or experience, I make up for with my approach to living and find self-satisfaction knowing I did everything I could to be my very best.
PCA’s Vision is to create better athletes and better people. “Ted Lasso” will fill both your head and your heart with so much positivity that you’ll have no choice but to pass it along and share with those under your supervision. Remember, there is no downside to positivity. Positive is not soft. Positive is just more effective, and research confirms it just works better.
They say the most powerful form of advertising is “word of mouth.” When one of my favorite people on earth recommended this show, I should have watched it immediately. But for whatever reason, I chose not to. When a second friend who I have much respect for and hold in the highest regard also suggested it, I knew I had to give it a chance. Her selling point was it was well worth the $4.99, and that if money was the issue, she would send me the $5. I would now make the same offer to my friends.
Coach Nelson holds a doctorate in sport and performance psychology and currently serves as a high school football coach, trainer for the positive coaching alliance (PCA) and adjunct faculty member at Grand Canyon University. He has worked for multiple professional sport franchises, a Fortune 100 Company, a division 1 athletic departments and has won numerous awards for his LEADership abilities.
His mission is to positively influence the world through Love, Effort, Attitude and Discipline (#LEAD). To learn more about the LEAD philosophy follow him on Twitter Levi Nelson or reach out via email at rln10@zips.uakron.edu He’d love to learn about or help you in your journey!
PCA: https://www.positivecoach.org/team/nelson-levi/
References
Biswas-Diener, R. (2010). Practicing positive psychology coaching: Assessment, activities and strategies for success. John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, NJ. (978–0–470–53676–6)
Smith, R. E., & Smoll, F. L. (2011). Sport psychology for youth coaches: developing champions in sports and life. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
Thompson, J. (2003). The double-goal coach: Positive coaching tools for honoring the game and developing winners in sports and life. New York, NY: Harper Collins Publishers ISBN-13: 978–0060505318
